Film Junkie Christmas Wishlist

Take a moment to consider your Christmas list. If you could have any item from any film, would it dramatically change your list? I know mine would, and I can only hope that I could receive any of these awesome objects in my stocking rather than another pair of reindeer socks. So here’s my improvised Christmas list.

Dear Santa……

10. The Invisibility Cloak – Harry Potter Series
Let’s face it, we all have a mischievous side to us that is drawn to an invisibility cloak, and any of our Christmas antics will be double the fun with it this year. Plus as Harry proved, it’s pretty useful being invisible in a snowball fight. In fact you could call it cheating.

9. NZT – Limitless
For that more interesting friend of yours, who gives you a present for you to show to the family, and then another with your real present of what you really want this Christmas. They could push the boat out this year and get you some NZT, for the most forgettable Christmas and New Years ever! Just maybe not so addictive, that led to some problems.

8. Mogwai – Gremlins
So as Christmas movies go, Gremlins is an often forgotten favourite of mine. Everything would have gone pretty smoothly too if they had just followed the wise old man’s instructions. Before the annoying invention of the furbee, small big eyed things were typically pretty cute, and would be welcome at my Christmas dinner. Plus if you can’t take another round of Pictionary you could accidentally knock a drink on your Mogwai to spice things up a bit.

7. The Lamp – Aladdin
It’s debatable whether the story about the Genie in the lamp is meant to be true or was just a beautifully constructed tale told by the stall vendor to get you to buy it. But on the off chance you could have a comical genie make off-topic jokes about every situation in could be fun for Christmas. And the wishes and stuff; that would be kind of cool #JustSaying. My first wish might have to be to have a less sporadic Robin Williams though….

6. The Delorean – Back to The Future Series
The Delorean possibly made it onto 100s of hopeful young boys’ and girl’s Christmas lists during the 80s, and anyone getting their first car for Uni could see that there’s no bigger send off from your parents when they trust you with a time travelling car. Just don’t go back in time and nearly sleep with your own mother. Because that’d be bare awkward.

5. Babelfish – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Originally from the book of course, it still makes the list because of its practicality and usefulness. Despite being a desperately ugly parasite, the ability to understand any language instantly, is not to be underestimated. It may not help you understand your mates after they’ve had a few though.

4. Neuraliser – Men in Black
The memory modifier didn’t turn out so great for Arnie in Total Recall, but the boys in Men in Black definitely had some fun. Some potentially negative effects if it falls into the wrong hands, but equally has the opportunity to help you forget all the terribly drunk things you did Christmas day, and maybe, if you could forget some of granddad’s stories, it would be more bearable to listen to them again.

3. The Golden Gun – James Bond, Man with the Golden Gun
A personal favourite of mine, this makes the list because of its sheer iconic colour and recognisable shape. A one shot-kill gun (which I think most are) but it seemed to make the difference in the film, and more importantly, in 007 Goldeneye for the N64. Basing how much I always wanted the gun in that game, I need it on this list.

2. Lightsaber – Star Wars Series
It was obviously going to make it onto this list, every boy’s dream of being a Jedi come true by wielding a pointy, glowing stick. The ultimate hand-held weapon could have so many other uses too. Unwrapping presents will be easier, popping open the champagne will be easier, even cutting the turkey will be smoother. Hopefully the turkey won’t go all Obiwan on you and just disappear when you cut it.

1. The Toys – Toy Story
I think if I could have anything this Christmas, Buzz, Woody and the gang would serve as anyone’s best present at Christmas. Living, talking toys would spare you the dinner talk this Christmas, and as the Disney movies proved, lifelong companions for you and maybe even the next
generation.
Try to play nice with them though, we’ve all seen
Small Soldiers.

JACK GILMOUR

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